Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
