i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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