well I can't set my house on fire every night
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Damn victory sex feels great
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
