I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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