So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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