Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you didnt know i had herpes?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
