Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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