They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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