Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
third nipple confirmed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
