is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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