That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize