You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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