Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Randomize
