do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
