Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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