Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
