so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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