So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
