so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
