Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
