I just made out with a guy for $7.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
