I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
