Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
