1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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