When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
