You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
