i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
