Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
