Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently you make a good broom.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
