he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
