just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
