Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
