I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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