wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I met the friendliest cop last night
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
