first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
