If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
