you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize