conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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