I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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