You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
