just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize