yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
