i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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