You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
