You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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