it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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