she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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