we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.