Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize