Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
