do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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