I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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