I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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