I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
