Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
