I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we're making bets on your personal life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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