How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
