No stitches, just platelets and will power
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
